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Coming out of lockdown for The Body Barber™

COVID-19 Out of Lockdown

October 21, 2021

Opening back up 🦍.

Finally, thank f*@k is all I can say !

Story thus far ? I guess no-one’s really interested really in the story and instead here to find out when I can get those 🍑 + 🍆 of yours back in to their usual smoooooth state and not to discuss the weather ….. though if the weather is your thing, check out Nate on ABC weather 🤭

We’re allowed to open again 🥳, they may have brought it forward, but for me it’s definitely the 26th. At the time of writing this blog post thought, I’m afraid I'm already booked out and Nov 5th is my first free spot.

Where have I been 🤔? I had my phone turned off as I have been getting a LOT of random requests to break curfew, restrictions and the like and it all got too much 🥴.

Currently I’m just getting everything in order, dusted off and serviced in readiness for the stampede 🤠, may even need to get my wild animal wrangling protection gear out 🙄😳. Please 'bare' with me as you would expect, I have dozens of texts, calls, emails and 'offers' to act upon. It’s all a bit overwhelming given that I’ve been on my fat covid arse contemplating what devices, or services, I’ll need to enlist in and get my glued arse off the leather. Who knew one’s arse could develop the role of a quad-lock suction base 😫😂 !!!  


  • Mostly no changes there, all waxing, body clipping, massage, laser and consultation services are still being offered as they were pre 2020. The few changes will be with pricing and the fact that you’ll need to be double vaccinated with proof of the double jab 💉💉 when you scan my QR code ... more details and resource links below.
  • No doubt you’ll all have attached your certificate to Service Victoria’ app ….  And before those of you that are anti what ever, don’t shoot the messenger, I’m just doing as I’m told and can’t afford, don’t want the $$$k in fines. Not to mention that if I need to get tested because of someone else, I'll need to close my business whilst I wait for the results 😡.
  • 😷 Timing between clients will be increased to allow for COVID cleansing, this will decrease the amount of people that I’m able to see each day unfortunately. I encourage everyone to book their next appointment BEFORE they leave.


Coming out of lockdown I would like to thank ALL my loyal clients for supporting my business and appreciate your understanding and most appreciative of those of you that offered to pay in advance to help during lockdown 🤗😘.

Suffice to say that after 262 days, various business costs associated from the COVID-19 lockdowns and operational requirements has questioned the sustainability of The Body Barber™ and that I wasn't eligible for any of the grants didn't help but realise I'm still in a better position than some who have had their lives decimated.

  • Services for clipping and general manscaping will go unchanged and you still get your 40% discount for multiple clipping services performed with your visit 👍🏼.
  • Services for waxing in general will increase slightly. The main thing here is that heavily discounted bookings will be reigned in 🥺 and brought in line with the new pricing, as will massages.
  • Loyalty discount levels remain unchanged.
  • Laser service charges, unchanged.
  • Out of hours fees, unchanged and enforced.
  • Late cancellations and no show policy remains firm and apply ! 
  • Home Clipper party fees remain unchanged.
  • Shower requests will now incur a small 🦨 cleaning fee.


  • No change there, Tuesday to Saturday from 10:00 to a finish time of 20:00 … that’s NOT my last booking at 20:00, but to get one's arse off the bed and out the door BY 20:00ish ⏳. Why don't I do earlier like 08:00 or 09:00 because that means my day of social services stretches out too long …. anyway, why am I explaining this lol !
  • Bookings outside of these times will be considered as always 🤔, however they will incur fees and carry no expectations that it’ll happen again for you or for me.😏


  • Again, at this point of time please be patient 🙏. I may actually (sorry Brent, had to use that word) call you rather than texting where possible to speed up the booking process. Just a friendly, but angry-mother-pointy-finger-thingy at you ......  when you text, include the days and times you prefer.

Online bookings …. Still not an option at this stage 😠, but working on it.

General Shit

Always happy to accommodate your requests in an environment free from judgement, or raising of an eyebrow. Gender diverse people welcome, I just need to know if I’m working on a penis or a vagina, and if you identify as a tree I’m happy to play the arborist.

💯 Definitely looking forward to the social aspect and to catch up on what hopefully will be more exciting times and adventures you've had than what my 4 walls have provided of late !

Feeling sick🤮, sniffles 🤧, unwell 🤢? please DON'T come in and go get a test instead 🤒.

Christmas 🎅 Notice

… after all it’s only 9 weeks away or for most of you, 2 visits !!! A reminder then, from 24th Dec to 4th Jan-ish I’ll be in Tassy 🤞🏼 visiting family I haven’t seen in almost 2 years. Bookings being received already in to February and March so get your shit together, (not literally) and do the same !

Be mindful, polite and respectful and don’t forget to hug someone when COVID restrictions allow ;-)

COVID-19 guides

(open in new window)

Proof of vaccination status required:

Acceptable proof of your COVID-19 vaccination status:

How to add your COVID-19 proof from myGov:

Please be patient and respect our staff:

Proof of COVID-19 vaccination status:


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Alternatives to waxing or shaving at The Body Barber
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March 22, 2020

At The Body Barber™, manscaping, dude-pruning, bro-mowing, scrotercation or just plain ol' hair removal .... aesthetics play a huge role in body hair management and is what my business is all about. In using various professional tools of the trade, I'll style, sculpt and engineer your body hair giving you that confidence about not only looking your best, but feeling it as well.

Consultations for clips are free, unless work is carried out at the time, so text or call to see how big a difference a clip can make to not only yourself, but to how others interact with you as well.

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Planning ahead:  (noun + adverb) ( planɪŋ /Ə’hƐd )

You need to get off your arse, get your shit together and book your appointments NOW, or else risk missing out, pretty simple really

Be warned !! If you send a text “can I have a wax?”, my answer will probably be “I don’t know, ask your mother”, think about it ! I need as much information as possible to be able to answer your enquiries.

Please ensure your
initial text includes the following:

Tue - Sat 10:00 till 20:00 (I'm a 24hr guy) Sun/Mon CLOSED

If you call and I don’t answer, I’m busy devoting my expertise to a client and so don’t interrupt their service which, if you’re here as a client, you would appreciate.

Last thing, I DO book out several days in advance so if asking “what are you doing tomorrow?” I may just say “unfortunately, not you”..… and remember to laugh, life’s short.