all male staff

Client Update

Before we go any further, if you are not a current client and have received this text in error then please reply with 'stop' to your text message and we will take your number out of our system and delete it from our data base.

Similarly, if you are no longer a client of Zaque, or you do not intend on returning as one, also reply with 'stop'. We never know why people drop off the radar though and for whatever reason it would be great to have your feedback via our 'contact us' page. Constructive feedback is always appreciated in allowing a business to grow, so thank you in advance.

Now that is over and done with ..... WELCOME to the new look and the new branding as The Body Barber™ !! 

So what's been going on you may ask ? Well in typical Zaque fashion I'll do my ranting as usual ... if you're bored already then feel free to bugger off any time now or simply go straight to the home page and explore the site further here.


The Body BarberFor those that haven't been that attentive, the business is now called The Body Barber™ and yes, I have trademarked the name for Australia as I think it's a pretty awesome name and one that encompasses all that I do really.

As with all things, I am sure that there are spelling mistakes, a shitload of grammatical errors, maybe a few broken links and things that may just be confusing. Please don't be backward in coming forward and letting me know what things you have found. As always, I greatly appreciate your input and the fact that you care enough to let me know. ..... For those of you that don't care, tell that to me next time I'm ripping your hair out and we'll see who cares then !

I guess the main thing is the ability to book online .... what's that you say .... about friggin' time !!

Online bookings

mens waxing melbourne(update) The first time you use the 'book now' link it may take a while to load, not sure why but be patient or refresh ... it does work. This only seems to be an issue the first time it's used.


The only way to get to the booking schedule to make an appointment is via the link 'BOOKING LOGIN' or by clicking on 'BOOK NOW' images throughout the site.

The 'sign in' link is a separate platform altogether and used for when you want to purchase a stock item (yet to be uploaded), pay for services in advance or pay a late cancellation fee.

If you would like to go straight to the online booking portal then use this link and bookmark it for future use.

This will require you to create an account where you log in to make your booking. (this account is NOT the same account as the 'Sign In' 

  1. clicking on the 'book now' button will take you to a ' LOG IN ' page.
  2. If new to the this site, select the ' SIGN UP ' tab.
    1. enter your email address plus a password to use for future log-ins OR you have the choice of signing up using your Facebook, Google, Twitter, Microsoft or Yahoo accounts.
    2. you will then be taken to a welcome screen that will give you 2 choices, 1) log out 2) ' START BOOKING '
    3. Start Booking screen will load and you will then be faced with your options and our various services and off you go, 'Bob's your Uncle' as they used to say (or Aunty for some).
  3. If you have been to the booking platform before, just enter your details in to the ' LOG IN ' tab and follow the prompts that you are already familiar with.

By having an account it will allow you to control your bookings and reschedule should the need arise, as long as it's not within 24hrs prior your scheduled time. Also, a history will be there so that you can control your booking and just reschedule the same again.

  • Limitations are that you cannot alter your appointment within 8 hours of the scheduled time, this you will need to brave the elements and contact me directly with something other than 'your dog ate your homework'.


Prices have remained UNCHANGED, as they have for a few years now, what has changed is I now have images to represent the body areas.

This will hopefully take out the confusion for so many of those uninformative texts I get asking "can I have a wax?".  

I thought it best to go back to kindergarten and use pictures. When I get a text enquiring about a back wax and I reply with $65, sometimes there's a delay of 20 minutes or more in their reply because they've just shat themselves wondering why a lat wax would cost so much. Lats are not a back wax so the images will solve that issue and save a lot of clean up at the same time.

To view prices, from the drop down menu select either the body area or everything. When you see what you may be interested in simply click on it and from the pop up window choose 'select pricing options' and the service you may be wanting, i.e. clip (manscape), wax or laser and the price will change accordingly. DO NOT 'add to cart' or 'buy now' ... you are able to pay for the products in your cart but it won't take you to the booking schedule. Here may be some confusion with  'ADD TO CART. Although you can add the service to your shopping cart and pay for it, if you want to book in a time you will need to use the 'BOOK ONLINE' button instead.

 Note: Laser pricing is a guide only.  A consultation IS required to get an accurate treatment cost. Clipping prices are also a guide, as their pricing reduces considerably when coupled with a wax or other clipped body areas.

'Mantenance Program'


(Yes, yes I know, it is incorrectly spelt intentionally as a play on the word 'maintenance')

The Body Barber loyalty program
You are not required to sign up, or do anything special, no dance routines, (unless it's well choreographed, entertaining and involves a 'furry' costume of sorts lol), no special circus tricks, or bending over backwards. What it means is that you are someone that is regular with your body grooming, plain and simples. 
  • When a client is back within 6-7 weeks they automatically are enrolled in the program,. The program affords those clients certain benefits not available to others such as:
      • 10 - 15% savings on waxing, 40% on clipping
      • waiver of late cancellation fees, unless it becomes a habit.
      • preferential bookings during the month of December and the lead up to Christmas and New Year
      • possibility of booking on a Monday when the clinic is closed.
      • Out of normal trading hours bookings where possible.
  • When booking online 'Mantenance Program' clients will not see their savings applied, the savings will be totalled at the checkout just like it is done every other time ... and also explains why some of you think it's odd that the price ends in something like 80¢. The price you see is the price I have always charged, if your total is a lot less then think yourself lucky !

This leads me to the next titillating offering .....  

    Cancellation Policy

      Cancellation policy in now being enforced guys .... targeted toward new clients mainly, but buyers beware.
        • A no-show client will be charged in full as though they turned up for their scheduled booking. If I do not receive any communication from the client regarding their no-show, other than getting pissed off at their inconsideration, their number WILL be blocked and no future appointments will be considered.
        • Cancellations less than 8 hours prior to booked time will incur a $30 fee or when their scheduled booking is over 90 minutes, a $50 fee. I have people on wait lists and when someone cancels 2 or 3 hours before their booked time as they'd rather be off having smashed avocado and lattes, well it's just not fair to those on the wait lists. Considering Melbourne's traffic, a few hours doesn't give the 'wait listers' enough time to organise or their need to shower  or spruce themselves up ..... rocking up with body odours of soiled nappies .... um, not nice.
          • These cancellation fees do NOT apply to those 'mantenance program' clients but may apply to those that consistently reschedule or cancel last minute.


        Still trying to work this whole blogging thing out, for the moment it seems to be more of a rant than anything else.

        I'm sure as things settle down they will take true form and be of interest to at least someone. 


        Now, for some interaction.

        Reviews, Feedback and Testimonials.

        You now have the opportunity to review and rate various services.

        It's as simple as going to the 'price list' section, finding the service (or product) that you have received and click on the 'write a review' link.

        This will take you to the service page where you can follow the prompts where it says "Client's feedback.

        General feedback and testimonials can be submitted via the 'contact us' page here and again, any and all are greatly appreciated !


        Christmas and New Year ! friggin' scary eh !!!


        I'm closed from December 23rd until Jan 3rd. From now until then there are VERY limited free spots and I suggest that you use the online booking portal to secure anything that may be free. Please note though at this time of the year late fees or cancellation/no show fees WILL apply.

        Extended hours till Christmas will require you to text me or call to get a time not available on the booking platform. There will be a small surcharge, or an offering to encourage me to get out of bed early or stay back .. Not that I want to influence you, but substantial cash offerings always works a treat in getting what you want 😉

        .... and that is IT ! If you have got this far down the page then WELL DONE ... I hope you enjoy the new look and if you have any feedback don't hesitate to contact me.  To continue on exploring this link will take you to the home page.

        Cheers again Zaque.


          Planning ahead:  (noun + adverb) ( planɪŋ /Ə’hƐd )

          You need to get off your arse, get your shit together and book your appointments NOW, or else risk missing out, pretty simple really

          Be warned !! If you send a text “can I have a wax?”, my answer will probably be “I don’t know, ask your mother”, think about it ! I need as much information as possible to be able to answer your enquiries.

          Please ensure your
          initial text includes the following:

          Tue - Sat 10:00 till 20:00 (I'm a 24hr guy) Sun/Mon CLOSED

          If you call and I don’t answer, I’m busy devoting my expertise to a client and so don’t interrupt their service which, if you’re here as a client, you would appreciate.

          Last thing, I DO book out several days in advance so if asking “what are you doing tomorrow?” I may just say “unfortunately, not you”..… and remember to laugh, life’s short.